Introduction to Dating Design Patterns

We present Dating Design Patterns, a patterns catalog of the original research documenting the underlying principles, patterns, best practices, and refactoring achievable in the complex world of empirical heterogeneous interactions, or dating [Morgenstern].

Today, as in the past, many of us naively assume that obtaining a date is synonymous with being a slick wanker and that intimacy with complex unfamiliar technologies can be done only if one has an innate understanding as well as good hair. Certainly, having innate ability can be an advantage.

However, if innate ability were not only sufficient but necessary, it is obvious from a metagenetic analysis of human history that we would have died out long ago.

Thus we can see the effectiveness of a systematic approach.

Early Research on Dating Design Patterns

Patterns are about communicating problems and solutions. Simply put, patterns enable us to document a known recurring problem and its solution in a particular context, and to communicate this knowledge to others. Typically this has been thus far identified poorly, with such references as Man, she wants to talk about the Relationship [Morgenstern] and solutions like Whatever you do, don’t tell her she looks fat in those pants [Roberts]. Thus dating was clearly a field rife with problems to identify and communicate solutions for, when the GoF first turned their attention to it.

Early Work by Christopher Alexander

This well-known pattern definition comes from Christopher Alexander in A Pattern Language [Alex2]:

“Each pattern is a three-part rule, which expresses a relation between a certain context, a problem, and a solution.”

—Christopher Alexander

This comes from his work in standard patterns much later on, however. Christopher Alexander’s personal diaries, luckily discovered in a garage sale in Poughkeepsie just months ago, show in his early years a painful yearning for the precision he loved so dearly in the sciences [Alex 3].

“Kathy turned me down. I find it frustrating that women do not perceive and appreciate the inherent elegance of simply sitting on park bench for a date rather than engaging in the external complications of dinners and movies. But perhaps however this is my fault. The same thing happened with Julie, Jeannie, and Sunita, and it is possible that this is a recurring pattern. If only there were also an identified context relationship and a solution for this problem.”

—Christopher Alexander

Later, his perceptions improved, but without successful implementation. [Alex3]:

In short, I believe that this Saturday night I will be playing Dungeons and Dragons again. This is a recurring pattern in my life, ostensibly perpetuated by my pocket protector which Martin insists puts women off, and by my utter refusal to engage in interests outside of writing classic books on architecture. The larger patterns embed them, and the patterns of the same size that surround it, and the smaller patterns which are embedded in them, and so on like those Russian stacking doll thingies, form a  complex pattern mini-architecture.

I do hope that tonight I shall have better powers than last time, when I was a wounded dwarf with the mystical powers of a doily.”

—Christopher Alexander

However, as he worked on the project and joined Kent and Grady, his efforts came to fruition as he standardized and systematized his behavior.

I ran the entire program today, Saturday April 5th. Got up and got dressed in the Decorator suit, then hit the antique stores (Exposed Accelerated Collector). Had brunch with Lucy and Cindy and got Cindy’s number, though Lucy called later and asked me to teach her to ski (Big Fat Opening). Did the volunteer work for Humane Society 2-4 and got to know Leslie; am working on her from the Trojan Facade angle and am planning for her to invite me camping over Memorial Day. Finally, implemented Interested Listener on date with Sonja with spectacular results. Am discovering more patterns and strategies every day but think IL is most effective. More later; she just came out of the bathroom.

—Christopher Alexander

We shall leave it to our imaginations what happened, since unfortunately the following page was stained with red wine.